Transition is very hard, especially if you’re moving from a deep-rooted life of long held traditions into the unknown and insecure. But that’s how I started my life – unknown, insecure, moving from place to place; a wild flower with no roots. Of course, as a weed I wanted the steady strength of deep roots. I admired the traditional. I begged for the normal. I’ve spent the last two decades trying to fit into that mold and waking up every day feeling like a failure, hating myself for not being what I was expected, and unable to stamp the wildness from my very nature.
Here I stand; one foot in the past and one in the future; a love and admiration for tradition and a passion to run wild and free; two sides warring for domination in my heart and mind. Bottom line… I am who I am, what I am, and no matter my wants, I will only be balanced and whole when I let go and live in my true form.
I’m in transition, and this stage is painful, but it’s also beautiful. I see the best and worst of two worlds. I feel the love and pain of two ideas. But, I’ve learned …the same sun shines on both the tree and the wild flower. The same water and earth nourishes them. Each is beautiful as they were created.
I am a wildflower and I’m okay with that, even if the rest of the world disagrees. I’ve spent too long trying to be a tree; it’s now time for me to learn how to be a wildflower and appreciate my beauty. I’m bridging the gap of who I wanted and who I’m meant to be, and it’s a lovely scene.
Till next time,