Many times in my life, well really almost all of it if I really think about it, I always put someone else’s ideas or wants before my own. Perhaps it’s just part of my DNA, though none of my other family members ever did this. I have been taking care of someone else literally my whole life. From the time I was able to climb on top of counters and change diapers, I took care of my brothers, to taking care of my own children (as a child myself at 17), taking care of a husband, taking care of a career, and taking care of my duties and responsibilities at church and in my community. In all that time, I rarely took care of me. I spent literally my whole life being what other people expected, demanded, or wanted from me.
Last year, about this exact time, I made a huge, life-altering decision – I was going to be myself and start to take care of me. The only problem with my plan – I didn’t really know who I was. My children were now grown, I walked away from a 20-year marriage, I left my church and let go of all my friends. I even stopped writing for a while. I needed to meet me and I had no idea what I looked like.
I’ve since met me, and I like me very much. I’m outgoing, love the outdoors, love to run and exercise, love to read, write and help others, love to dream, love to travel, love the Pacific Northwest, love to explore, love to meet new people, love 5k’s, love hiking, love kayaking, love canoeing, love being alone, love being in a crowd of friends, love wine, love sushi, love hats and love being beautiful, sexy and flirtatious. I love being me and can never settle again to be a copy or imitation of what someone else wants me to be.
I’m the original T.L. Gray.
Till next time,