Perfection. It’s a novel idea, but it doesn’t really exists; it’s an illusion. Even in things or people we think are perfect, that perceived perfection is only for a moment, at first glance, at first inspection. As we become more familiar, we begin to see the flaws, the cracks, and the imperfections. The key is to maintain the same level, or even a deeper level, of affection for that person or object as these imperfections surface.
None of us are perfect. None. Not one.
Being single and Valentine’s just around the corner, I’ve been considering the type of man I’d like to date. At first my idea of the ‘perfect’ man popped into my mind, and boy my list of requirements was long. But as I thought about it, it’s the imperfect, flawed, and damaged man I wanted most. Not a wreck, not unstable, just flawed. Let me try to explain.
I don’t want someone who will do what I want, when I want, or tell me what I want to hear, obey my every command, or fulfill my every want and desire. No, I didn’t mistype that sentence.
I’m a passionate person, and passion is what gets my heart pumping and causes excitement to flood through my veins. I’m passionate about love. I’m passionate about life. I’m passionate about reading, writing, marketing, hiking, exploring, being adventurous, being a friend, being a mother, etc. But, I’m not passionate for these things because they’re readily or easily available at my wish or command. They’re hard to acquire, participate, and procure, and require dedication, determination and devotion. I respect them, admire them, and love how they affect my life, because they make me a smarter, healthier, happier person – a better woman.
A man who doesn’t challenge me, doesn’t push me out of my comfort zone, doesn’t stand up to me, doesn’t encourage me, doesn’t inspire me, doesn’t push my buttons sometimes, doesn’t argue with me (not just to argue but stands for what he believes), doesn’t earn and receive my respect, doesn’t stir up my passions, doesn’t make me want to be a better woman, so they’re just not the man for me.
I want a passionate man in my life. I need someone to care about me as a whole person, because I’m a mess, flawed, broken, and shattered. I don’t need a man to complete me, to hold me together, to hold me up. He’ll just get tired of being my hero. I need one that will help me put my pieces together so I can stand on my own, who can stand beside me, and together we fight the dragons of this world. I need to inspire, push, challenge, stand up against, encourage, and argue with him for the same reasons I need it for myself. I need someone that will protect me, whom I can protect, a partner who I can stand back to back with… still fighting our own battles, but have each other for strength and support. Bottom line – I need someone just as passionate as me. Not perfect, but perfectly passionate.
Till next time,
~The Imperfect T.L. Gray